Joy

Hmmmm my joys are so simple it doesn’t take much sacrifice. Just give me my pad, paper, Pandora, a spot under a shady tree in the park and I’m happy.

Thought For Today

I borrowed this from a sister in my writing group the EW.

Thought For Today

“Begin at once; before you venture away from this quiet moment, ask your King to take you wholly into His service, and place all the hours of the day quite simply at His disposal, and ask Him to make and keep you ready to do just exactly what He appoints. Never mind about tomorrow; one day at a time is enough. Try it today, and see if it is not a day of strange, almost curious peace, so sweet that you will be only too thankful when tomorrow comes to ask Him to take it also.” – Francis Ridley Havergal

~El

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

The definition(s) of excuses…

A) to make apology for B) to try to remove blame from C) to forgive entirely or disregard as of trivial.

Hmmm I’ll take B for $100.

How many time have we opened our mouths to give an excuse as to why we can’t do something? Sometimes we don’t want to do it or sometimes it is because we really believe that we can’t.

I can recall while working as an employment specialist many clients walking through the door telling me what they could not do for one reason or another. Every time they gave me a reason of why they thought they could not do something many times I had a response of why they could.

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~El

Darkness or Light: What Pulls You?

The funniest thing occurred last week while I was at work. Let me first say that maintenance in our building is very slow, although it is sustained by federally funded dollars. We have three elevators and for months only one worked. It would break down frequently at least two and three times a week during regular business hours with a number of disabled staff and visitors in the building.

Well now we finally have two elevators working. Two out of three are not bad.

Now as I was saying the funniest thing happened to me one day. As I stepped off the new working elevator I stopped in my tracks. I was blinded by a flood of light. No I had not died and was being led to the other side. But I was literally blinded by light, fluorescent light bulbs that is. Everything was so bright I nearly stepped back onto the elevator because I thought that I was on the wrong. After overhearing various conversations throughout the office I was not the only one to realize the big change.

Under normal circumstances this would be nothing to get excited about. There should be lights in the, especially in a government building anyway. Am I correct?

Yes I am correct. Having lights was such a big deal because for
months there were no lights. I mean there were a few lights, but not enough because the lobby area was still dim. Now during the time we where we lacking light it never dawned on me how dark the hallway outside of our office really was.

That is not until there was actually light. For months my coworkers and I were surrounded by darkness and we didn’t even realize it.
Isn’t that something, for one to be surrounded by darkness and never realize it until they thrust into a different environment?

So many times we become accustomed to things that are not positive. We don’t realize it until we are pushed into sometime different. Some people including myself have set ourselves up to accept less. So much that we become comfortable with it. Way too comfortable I might add.

We program our mind to accept and to even search for less, instead of anticipating the best. We should embrace all that life has to offer.

Let’s stop walking in darkness and choose to walk in the light.
~El

The Self Sabotaging Spirit

The Self-Sabotaging Spirit

This is taken from an upcoming blog at my sister site thephoenixunleashed.com

January 18

I am sure most of us have experienced an ah ha moment at one time or another.   I experienced one just this week.   As I mentioned in my blog My Personal Mission Statement, I am participating in the 31 Day Reset Challenge.  Well doing this 31 Day Reset Challenge I nearly sabotaged my dreams without even realizing it.

On Day 12 of the challenge we were instructed to write our Life Narrative.  Feel free to take a look at my Life Narrative. Our Life Narrative basically comprises of telling our story about the life we want in present tense as if it is happening.  I look at it as putting it out into the universe.

During this challenge I shared that my website (meaning this one) is up and running at full capacity.  I stated that it was attracting thousands of visitors per day.  What made this interesting was the fact that I nearly did not write that amount down.

Here’s a breakdown of what I said.

If you look back at my life narrative there is a point where I say, “My website is up and running at full capacity.  It is very successful and attracting thousands of visitors daily.”  Well believe it or not while writing that statement I nearly downplayed my ability.  At first I wrote numerous visitors, then I wrote hundreds, then I changed it to thousands and then I changed it back to hundreds.  You know why?  In just a split second I told myself that I would never reach thousands of visitors per day and that hundreds would be more realistic.  But a few seconds later I found myself saying, “Hold up.  Why are you limiting yourself before you even start?” I immediately changed it back to thousands.

I then asked myself, “Why can’t I reach thousands of visitors per day?  That’s not impossible.  In fact it is going to happen.”

Wow!  That was a strong example of how we can sabotage our dreams before we even start.  I guess I caught the case of the Lizard Brain.

Now this has me wondering how many times I have sabotaged other projects, goals and dreams.   How close was I near the finishing line, but failed to cross it because I told myself that it could not be done?  How many times have I said that no one will read it, no one is interested and there is too much competition?  Let’s just say too many times.

People let’s not sabotage what we want to achieve.  Remember the possibilities are endless.  We will never know what we can succeed at, unless we make an effort to at least try.

~El

 

 

 

More Action Less Yakking

Every year many of us make resolutions with all intentions of keeping them and somewhere along the line we fail. I personally stopped making New Year’s resolutions a couple of years ago. To me resolutions are kind of like promises. They are easily broken.

At the close of 2011 I did something different, I chose to reflect. Instead of making resolutions I took an introspective approach to what I experienced in 2011. I looked at what I was not happy with and the things that made me smile. I rehashed the mistakes that I made and then played out how I would do better.

When taking a glance back I realized that I actually accomplished a couple of things on my list. One was even on my bucket list. Man it felt great drawing a line through number 2. 2011 was a rough year, but there were also some great times. I learned to take a closer look at myself, relationships, my choices and my decision-making skills.

Well, 2012 is here and 2011 is behind me. I will take my experiences of 2011 and learn from them. However, I refuse to hold on to them. I will leave them right where I left them, in 2011. I look forward to all the fantastic and wonderful things that 2012 has to offer. I am excited about embracing the awesome year that lies ahead of me.

Just like many others, I have goals that I want to accomplish in 2012 and beyond. I have serious issues with procrastination, organization, fear, giving back to others, my finances and other things. I seek to have a closer relationship with God and I yearn to be more mentally, spiritually and physically balanced.

I am making a concerted effort to be a better person not only for 2012, but for the rest of my life. I can honestly say that before the end of 2011 I began making changes. Even though they were small changes, they were changes non-the-less. This year there will not be a lot of talking. As they say actions speak louder than words. There will be more action and less yakking.

~El

Being a Better Parent in 2012

2012 is now coming to an end. Many of us have lined up our resolutions for the start of the New Year. We have plans, agendas and good intentions to make positive changes. They may consist of improving our finances, losing weight, becoming debt free, going to church, finding new jobs and a host of other things. I know you can count me in on a few of those.

Personally I don’t like to use the word resolution because it seems so temporary and so many of us use it because we are taught that it is the thing to do. However, I prefer to reflect on the past year and what course I will take to make the New Year a better one.
Like many others I have been thinking about how I will improve in some areas of my life as 2012 approaches. In 2012 one of my main goals is to be a better parent. This has been on my mind within the last week.

You may be wondering what will that consist of and how will I make it happen. Well to be honest I have asked myself the same question. What actions will I take to help my son grow into a healthy and well-rounded person? What steps will I take to assist him in becoming the best that he can be? Well I have jotted down a few ideas of what steps I will take to improve as a parent.

1. Education will remain a priority. I will seek ways to make his study time more enjoyable and working closely with his teachers to make his educational experience the best as possible. I will continue to help him along his educational journey. Yes it may take a bit of time and extra effort, but it is worth it.

2. Cultural experiences will become a normal part of our life. I remember in the past spending time at the park, the zoo, the library and all types of free concerts with my son. Somehow, I have distanced myself from doing such, but this will change in 2012. More time will be spent enjoying plays, concerts, the various cultural festivals available in my area.

3. Nurturing his talent. Nurturing my child’s talent is also very important. I have known for quite a while that my son is a pretty good artist, but I did not realize until this year what a truly talented artist he really is. So this Christmas I bought art supplies to invest in his gift. I will help him along in other areas he may have an interest in also. I will not stifle, but allow him to experiment with whatever peeks his interests.

4. Quality time is free and costs nothing. Yes we all talk about spending more time with our children. I am sure that many parents spend time with their children. However, is the time one of quality or quantity? I have to admit that I have slacked in that area within the last year, but 2012 will be different.

5. Teach him his history. We will learn our African and African American History together. As we all know this is something that will never be taught to him in school. Even at the college level he will never learn the full scope of his past. So why not start at home.

6. Embracing our spirituality together. This will happen inside and outside of our home. I have learned that this is needed to keep my child and I grounded, guarded and geared up. I not only have to teach him, but I must also lead and be the example.

7. Giving him the freedom to discover and find himself. He may trip and fall along the way, but I know that it is time to let the strings loose and allow him to be independent, even if he stumbles. I must admit that I sometimes look at him as my baby, but he is growing into a young man and it is time to let go and let him grow.

So with that being said, I know that I have some work ahead of me. These are not just mere words thrown together to fill the pages of this column. I will take the initiative to do better by my son in 2012 and beyond.

~El

Just My Thoughts

“Life is too short to be unhappy. Grasp onto it as if it were like a rare commodity and dodge negativity like the plague.”

 

~El

My 23 Truths

In my writing group Essentially Woman we were asked to write our 23 Truths. Well, here are mine. They are really quite simple, but very powerful to me.

1. I AM BEAUTIFUL but I have to believe it.
2. Life is beautiful even when the sun is not shining.
3. Life it too short to be unhappy.
4. Music is a beautiful and unspoken language that moves my soul.
5. It takes entirely too much energy to be angry and it adds ten
years to your life.
6. The old folks say “this too shall pass.” It really will.
7. “Just keep living baby” words of my Granny Fannie. You
will then understand where your parents were coming from.
8. You will learn to love your gray strands and extra curves.
9. Nature is calming to the soul.
10. If you want to know the truth ask a child.
11. It’s good for the soul to sit and quite the mental.
12. Words evoke power good or bad.
13. Kids never forget be careful what you say and do.
14. Strive for happiness.
15. Be humble enough to learn.
16. Be quite, observe and learn.
17. Never apologize for loving hard.
18. There comes a time when enough is enough.
19. Our tolerance level changes as we age.
20. When a man really wants to see you nothing will stop him from doing so.
21. Kids give the best hugs.
22. Did I say I AM BEAUTIFUL but I have to believe it?
23. God won’t let you down. Ever!

~El

LOVE JONES: The Beauty of Black Love in Hollywood

Not too long ago the media was in frenzy over the so-called break up of Will and Jada Smith. News spread like wild-fire that the couple were headed to divorce court, when Will supposedly discovered Jada and Marc Anthony (Jada’s costar and love interest on the now cancelled Hawthorne) having an affair.

This appeared to really upset Will and Jada’s fans. The gasps of disbelief, sighs and “OMG”, could be heard across Facebook, Twitter and the radio waves.   “No not Will and Jada! They’re such a nice couple.”

I must admit that I was a bit surprised, but not necessarily shocked because of past allegations regarding their alternative lifestyles.  They are human and I am sure that they have ups and downs just as other couples.

After reading all of the headlines, listening to the social media chatter and hearing how upset some people were I began to think about marriage. I asked myself what makes a marriage work, especially a Hollywood marriage.  This caused me to think about black marriage in particular.

Will and Jada Smith exchanged vows on New Year’s Eve in 199.   Sadly enough, according to Hollywood standards that’s a long time. They however, are not the only black couple in tinsel town that is still married after a number of years.  The list would be too long to name them all, so here are a few. 

• Deion and Pilar Sanders     11 years
• Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance  14 years
• Rodney Peete and Holly Robinson     15 years
• Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis- Lee     17 years
• Barack and Michelle Obama     18 years
• Ervin “Magic” and Earlitha “Cookie” Johnson  19 years
• D. L. and LaDonna Hughley     24 years
• Denzel and Paulettea Washington     27 years
• Samuel L. Jackson and Latanya Richardson     30 years
• Bill and Camille Cosby     46 years

And let us not forget the late Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. Both acting greats were married on December 9, 1948. This power house couple were married for 56 years at the time of Ossie Davis’ death in 2005.

I could only smile as I wrote this article and read about the couples and their successful marriages. A glow of pride radiated from within. It made me happy to see beautiful black men and women beating the odds and proving the stereotypical views regarding African-Americans and marriage false.

~El